Sunday, June 21, 2009

I'm BAAAACK!!!

Wow it has been way too long since I posted a blog. What have I been doing? Well...swimming, cooking a ton, my Dad was in town which was great, chilling, cooking etc.

For those of you who read my blogs before the meet last weekend and know about the results then you know I didn't go either of my goal times. Hmmm what happened? That's exactly what I thought. Is this difficult on my mind? Yes, at times it is. There are many things I think about when I don't do well or as well as I thought I would. It is difficult to not accomplish what I set out to do because a part of me, for a second, doubts me. I think there is no question the demon of doubt definitely comes into play sometimes for everyone. The question is, how do you handle this situation and make sure the doubt is gone. Hmmm....another good question. This is a harder one to answer explicitly. The answer to this will be different for everyone. In short, I handle doubt by remembering all the times in the past I've doubted and remember all the times I've proved yet again I had no reason to. I remember all the hard work and sacrifice I've put in and stay confident in myself. Many times I look at things like a test. I see last weekend as a test for me to beat. I will not let something like that ruin me or keep me from what I want...NO WAY. If it isn't already obvious....I've crushed that demon!

So here's what I was thinking and where I'm currently at...

Initially I was disappointed and annoyed with the fact that I didn't go as fast as I wanted to. Eddie and Kris always try to ingrain in my mind and other athletes minds that it is impossible to compare ourselves this year to where we were last year. Why you may ask? The answer is because I'm a different person this year than I was last year. This year I'm bigger, stronger, more mature, more experienced, more refined etc. These simple facts make it impossible to compare last year's Garrett to this year's Garrett. Last year I went faster in both the 50 and 100 at the Texas Senior Circuit meet. What does this mean? Probably nothing. The reality is I'm different. Eddie always says the way to get better is to train your body in a different and more rigorous way than we did the year before, let it adapt to that, give it rest, and get excited to bust a cap and swim fast (well the bust a cap is more my thing than Eddie's but you get the idea). I know we've done this. I'm excited about swimming fast. The truth is that the path this year is just a little different than it was last year....and different is ok.

It did take me a few days to get over that meet though. I walked away with these positives... I had some good racing and got a good feel for swimming at a faster pace once again. My coaches and I now have a better idea of where we are and what we need to do to get where we want to go. I won both races I swam in the finals which gives me confidence in knowing I can still get the job done when it comes down to it. One of my best friends who I swam with for a long time told me, "When it comes time to ball, you're always ready." It sounds a little cliche but it made me feel better...and it's true haha!

I've had some pretty decent practices this past week. I know things will continue to get better. My mind is on the upslope baby!!!

3 comments:

Isa said...

Congratulations on staying positive and not being sad all the time about the meet...It's in these moments that we realize how tough we can be and the strength that we have to pursue our dreams.
Well...good luck with your trainings!

ShinLing said...

Keep it Up!!!!! N, gooD luck :D

"Doubts", i had a doubt about some issue as well.. It kept me awoke yesterday night. Yet, no solution for it. Confusing, doubt about what i insisted for so long, i am wondering, hesitating....

Donna Binkholder said...

Keep on keepin on!!!! You truly never fail to amaze me....gotta say you are on the positive side of life know..I think you have realized you can achieve great things if you just believe and stay positive. Good luck on the training. 8-)


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